Should I Give in to Sex?

by Daisy Ortiz
(Puerto Rico)

I will be turning 18 next month. I am in a two year relationship. Just recently I started having issues with my boyfriend because he's pressuring me to have sex. He isn't aggressive about it but does get upset every time he mentions it. I am a virgin and he is my first boyfriend. He has only had one other relationship before me and he had sex with her. He is 20 years old. This has caused strain in our relationship. He tells me that 2 years is too much to wait already and that he loves me. I am having doubts about this because I feel I am not ready for various reasons: I feel too young to start a sexual relationship due to the responsibility and the seriousness of the matter, I also have trust issues with him on his behalf. He is very jealous and possessive. He is also a very insecure and has a low self esteem. I cannot sleep with someone who doesn't trust me and believes at times that I am with someone else. He feels rejected because I wont sleep with him and this has caused him anguish to the point of believing that I am not attracted to him which is not true. He even thinks that there might be some else and that is the reason I wont be intimate with him. We have an amazing chemistry between us and he has been a devoted and loving boyfriend who has been faithful during these two years. I always wanted to wait to marriage but I realize that in today's world it would be unrealistic to make a man wait so long for me. I don't have problems with giving myself to someone as long as I knew that he was the right one or I was sure I would marry him. I told him that it was important for me the emotional security and trust was more important than sex to me. Although he hasn't talk about it anymore, I know its something he thinks about very often. I don't know what to do. Would it be right to continue making him wait until I'm ready or should I let him go.... He doesn't want to let me go saying I am the woman of his life. It becomes an issue every time we start kissing passionately and he hints at moving forward and I stop him. Its frustrating for him and unnerving for me. Its not that I don't love him, its just that in my heart I feel that its not right time. I need to feel safe and secure in the relationship before giving that step. Please help! We truly love each other but I don't know what to tell him anymore!

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Sep 21, 2014
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What About You?
by: Lemon & Autumn, "L.A."

Hi Daisy!

DON'T DO IT!!! You said you feel in your heart that you're not ready. This means that you're not ready! Don't ever allow anyone to make you second guess yourself. Stand true to what you believe in! If he cannot respect your decisions and gets mad he is not the one for you. I know you love him but if necessary separate yourself. Tell him that you need space. Sometimes you got to do what you got to do. You are now a young woman, you should rely more on your intuition and follow the goodness in your heart. He is ONLY your first boyfriend, I can guarantee you he won't be your last. I know that it's difficult having someone wait on you to get married in order to have sex in today's world but YOU set the standards for yourself as a woman, no matter what the world is trending. You are responsible for your body and your emotions and at the end of the day you are held accountable for your decisions.

On another note something else is amiss. I think there is a possibility that he's sleeping with someone. This is the only reason he would accuse you of being the one with indiscretions. Keep your eyes open, he's played this game before - you haven't. At the end of the day, no one (including me) can decide when will be the right time for you. Just remember that once you give it away, you can't get it back. Good Luck with your decision!

Wishing You The Best in Love~

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