My best friend spends at least a half hour talking on the phone with her boyfriend every time we hang out?

by Squidward
(US)

So yeah, basically she's my best friend and we have another best friend so we're like a group of three. Last time we hung out, it was almost two hours of her in the closet fighting with him/crying/breaking up/getting back together/whatever. Their relationship is extremely unhealthy and unstable and I've really tried telling her this several times. They've only been going out about three months now.


But yeah, my two best friends hung out today (I couldn't) and my other friend told me she talked on the phone for THREE HOURS fighting over stupid things like Instagram and whatever, then I guess they ended the conversation. A few hours later she's on the phone with him AGAIN. I told my friend to leave her house but she said she didn't wanna walk lol.

I think this is extremely extremely rude and I don't know what to do. My other friend most likely thinks this as well but I don't know, she's not really as vocal about it as I am. I am sure that her boyfriend doesn't do this with her friends. I mean, are you kidding? Over four hours on the phone, let alone the fact that you're hanging out with another friend?

I absolutely love her but this is ridiculous. I feel like anything I say to my her she won't listen, or she'll agree with me but she'll do it the next time anyway. Any ideas? Does it seem reasonable to literally leave her house if she does this again?

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Apr 10, 2014
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Sometimes you gotta do, what you gotta do.
by: Lemon & Autumn, "L.A."

My Advice: As a friend voicing your opinion on this topic several times with no changes, it's time for tough love. We can all understand new love and how you never want to leave that persons side but when it's time to step out with friends, it's mental health time. Apparently each time she gets a break, that mental health time is ruined with a phone call that includes: more drama, more crying, more bickering and more pettiness. It's up to you to show her tough love. You don't have to be mean about it!

The point is: We are all involved with someone else but when it's "friend time" or "ladies night" or "out with the fellas time", it's sacred. You are right! You should hold her accountable especially after you've told her how it makes you feel. Ditch her and get with your other friends to have a good time without the soap opera drama. She will take notice that she's not being invited and eventually she will ask. This is when you can really voice the way you feel, no cut cards and either she accepts it or rejects it. Sometimes this is what you have to do with friends so that they can really see for themselves how selfish they are being and how it effects you and them. At the end of the day you cannot help the way you feel; so feel free to get yourself a peace of mind by inviting "only" friends for a night out on the town, who are attentive to your needs and you theirs.

Wishing You The Best In Love~

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