I need sex more but he only wants it twice a week

by Aisha Ceesay
(The Gambia)

Is it just me? Or do men take the “pussy” for granted? I mean once they have a wife then they don’t want her body as much as he did when they were first married? I’m just six months into a marriage with a man 29 years younger than me PLUS he was a virgin when I met him….and he still only wants to fuck me two times a week. What's this about...and I'm considered sexy and hot and had no problem with getting enough dates when I was single.


I give my husband excellent oral sex since I love the penis so much. I give him head in between our twice a week fucks whenever he wants (or I want) but he falls asleep afterwards without tending to my needs. Where’s my orgasm? Doesn’t making love mean giving both parties pleasure? What is wrong with this picture?

I’ve been attracted to men in their twenties so that they like to have sex several times a day like most of my other young boyfriends were like. I like that my husband was a virgin so I thought he’d want to have sex a lot after he tasted the joy of sex. Not the case. He was probably a virgin all his 25 years since he doesn’t care about sex.

I gave him full disclosure before I got involved with him. My frustration at his lack of understanding of my sexual desires is what has me freaking out. All this is happening after I told him that before I was with him I basically had sex every day. I need an orgasm every 24 hours, at least one, or else I feel angry and unsatisfied. I told him this at the beginning. I was happy being single I told him. And I told him that I vowed not to have less sex than what I need if I’m in a relationship.

I used to date several times a week when I was single and I loved it. I had lots of boyfriends
of all ages. It’s just that now I’m in my mid-50’s and my sexual energy is supercharged. I can’t help it if my hormones are out of whack. And maybe some of my strong sexual desire is because I was ignored emotionally and physically by my first husband who was an abusive, depressed man that I finally divorced a couple of years ago. With him, I wasn't touched much at all.

Unfortunately, I think my new husband's only into what I can do for him. Because he doesn't want to have much sexual intercourse I think that he's only with me for my money and how I can build him a house. I don't think he loves me for me. I am the one who works in our relationship, he doesn't bring in any income. We're in the process of buying our land and plan to start building shortly. Is it just my money he wants?

If he was into me and into making me happy, wouldn’t he just make love to me everyday like I would like? How hard can it be for a happy, unemployed, soccer star, who doesn't have any stress? Even every other day would be ok…but twice a week?

Is it because he’s a Muslim and doesn't put much value on the sexual needs of women? Is it because women in his culture actually cut the clitoris and inner lips and labia off of the little girl children in order to dampen their sexual desires? Is this because I’m an American and have all my genitals intact and he can’t handle it?

Well I just freaked out in bed tonight and ran out of the room to send this email to you. I caused a scene and am messed up his manlihood by suggesting that he’s not making me happy, a bad husband. My asking for sex and not receiving it is pathetic. How long does this go on? Do I need to leave him for a man who actually cares about making me happy in bed?

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