A girl who was very interested in me has called it off because I happened to have a piece of furniture from her ex! What can I do?
by A girl who was very interested in me has called it off because I happened to have a piece of furniture from her ex! What can I do?
I recently really hit it off with a girl, and she was all over me from the start (she called/texted me daily). After a couple weeks of seeing eachother, we take a romantic roadtrip for a walk along a lake, a romantic dinner in a historic building, and later we see a concert and we're all cozy together all night. Finally, I've let my feelings sink into this and we're both very happy. Not surprisingly, she wants to see me the next day, comes over to my place, and discovers that I have a piece of furniture that she had previously bought her ex-husband (which was news to me). Prior to this revelation, I mentioned that I had bought it 2nd hand from a guy who seemed gay and may have been trying to flirt with me. Turns out, she left him 18-months earlier on her skepticisms that something was amiss with him. I tried to comfort her, but she remained flustered and we had an awkward afternoon together. The next day, she tells me she won't be able to see me anymore -that she can't get past the coincidence, and the fact that he may have hit on me. She doesn't want any reminders of the past. She goes on to say that she's broken in terms of men.
I do understand the discomfort of the reminder of her failed past relationship. I got rid of this furniture right away.
I've tried to explain
to her that there will always be reminders of her ex-relationship - no matter where she goes or who she sees, the memories will come up at some point. No matter my logic that this could have been a lucky sign, or that she and I can replace her old bad memories with new happy ones, she is adamant about not seeing me again. This was a few weeks ago.
My personal take is that she's just avoiding all of her feelings (she was hard to get through to emotionally during our times together), and now I know why. I know I'd be a good man for her, and bring her the happiness she wants. And like I mentioned she was the one pushing things forward the most while we were seeing eachother. My questions are: 1) Why is she barring herself from the happiness she wanted? 2) She's still actively trying to date online, so it's not a matter of her being hung-up over her ex. What do I have to do with him? 3) What can I do? My reasoning didn't work with her and I haven't been in contact in 2 weeks. I would be up for doing something bold - I don't get this interested in someone often -but I really have to get through to her somehow.
I'm pretty confident that we would be a very happy couple. Somehow we both have pain at the moment, due to a silly coincidence. Help!